Sunday, March 15, 2009

A Very Short Story for AIG Executives.

Yesterday's Outrage of the Day was the announcement that AIG is preparing to award excessive bonuses to certain well-placed individuals whose compensation packages pre-dated a taxpayer bailout that saved their sorry butts from sinking on a vermin-infested ship.

Wired Magazine did a piece a few years ago called Very Short Stories.

We'll be brief: Hemingway once wrote a story in just six words ("For sale: baby shoes, never worn.") and is said to have called it his best work. So we asked sci-fi, fantasy, and horror writers fromthe realms of books, TV, movies, and games to take a shot themselves.

Dozens of our favorite auteurs put their words to paper, and five master graphic designers took them to the drawing board. Sure, Arthur C. Clarke refused to trim his ("God said, 'Cancel Program GENESIS.' The universe ceased to exist."), but the rest are concise masterpieces.

Remember, six words only. Here are a few at random...

Failed SAT. Lost scholarship. Invented rocket.
- William Shatner

Computer, did we bring batteries? Computer?
- Eileen Gunn

Gown removed carelessly. Head, less so.
- Joss Whedon

Automobile warranty expires. So does engine.
- Stan Lee

Longed for him. Got him. Shit.
- Margaret Atwood

With bloody hands, I say good-bye.
- Frank Miller

I loved the list, and one that stuck in my memory can be modified to apply to the AIG bonuses. This one came to me yesterday...

Dinosaurs return. Want their oil back.
- David Brin

My submission:

Feds return. Want their money back.
- Hoots

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