Thursday, May 04, 2006

"You want me on that wall!"

Fred Clark, the Slacktivist, makes a few remarks about a national boundary border wall.

In addition to the deportation of all illegal immigrants and the construction of a "wall" along the El Paso, our Minuteman friend also demands that all U.S. citizens be required to have a passport and that this be the only valid, legal form of identification.

Before I sign on with this agenda, I would want to know a few more details. Like will the wall be equipped with catapults and cauldrons of boiling oil? Catapults would be cool. And when government officials demand to see my papers, will they do it in a cool East German accent? Or maybe Afrikaans?

A government passport checkpoint outside the 7-Eleven is, of course, far less intimidating than the prospect of having to walk by several prospective landscapers.

Passport checkpoints might slow down my commute, though, so here's a more efficient idea. This should also help our Minuteman friend sell his agenda with Tony Perkins' evangelical constituency: Instead of passports, we could use high-tech scanners to read a "citizen-chip" embedded in ... oh, I don't know ... the foreheads of all legal citizens. Anybody without "the mark" would be deported, catapulted back over the wall.

(Thanks to John Henke for post title inspiration.)

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