Monday, June 20, 2005

Doctor Bob once owned a poodle

...but he didn't like him.

Walter convinced me that Satan is not a myth, but manifests himself in various nefarious ways. An addictively-attractive curly ball of black fur, he grew into a living example of why humane societies run at full capacity. A hyper-dominent alpha male, honors graduate from the Naomi Wolfe school, he was everything dog owners dread: disobedient, vengeful, cunning, hyperactive. Poodles are one of the few dogs where the whites of the eyes can be easily seen, allowing you a glimpse at the depravity percolating in his small, rancid mind, as he shifted his eyes back and forth planning evil schemes and plotting revenge. We finally gave him away to another family– poodle-lovers, blind to the genetic wickedness of this dark breed–where he reportedly was trained with Twinkies while terrorizing an entire neighborhood, until Mephistopheles called his black soul home.

I mean he really didn't like him.
He likes his new dog a lot more.
Pictures, too.

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