Saturday, April 22, 2006

The Dick's a guy thing, you know

The famous Vagina Monologues have never interested me...until now. Gerard Vanderleun has penned what has to be the definitive guy equivalent.

Prudes keep moving. This one you skip.

Everybody else, especially those with a keen sense of humor, go read.
No snips here will do justice to this...words fail me...piece?
Well maybe just one. To set the scene, imagine Klick and Klack, the two guys on Car Talk, in running banter...

Plick: "Well, if neither renting or leasing satisfy, our sisters might want to consider a Dick time-share. This is usually the most equitable solution for all involved, and is strongly supported by the International Brotherhood of Dicks."

Plack: "That's a super-suggestion, my brother. The only drawback is that the negotiations for a Dick time-share tend to long and drawn out, sometimes frustrating, and can collapse at any moment for what seems to be the most trivial of reasons. It's a little like trying to be accepted into a Upper West Side Liberal co-op while Mexican. It can be done but you have to bribe many and guilt-trip more."

Plick: "But it can be worked out, that's my point. That's why this option is expanding faster than porn on the internet. The driving force behind such a deal is that, once you have concluded the negotiations, you find you want to continue the arrangement for a decent period of time before moving on. Indeed, some women have been so successful in their Dick time-share arrangements they tend to live with the time-share Dicks for years, if not the rest of their lives."

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