Thursday, December 22, 2005

Season's Greetings

Via Touchstone...
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. And without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee. By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

If you happen to be Muslim, there are also ways to adapt Christmas tunes to the faith.
How do the savvy amongst us cope with the ubiquity of the Holiday Sonic Season? If we can't tune out, we make up our own lyrics! Having attended Anglican and Episcopalian schools, this author became adept at adapting what he heard each Yuletide. Here are 10 Christmas melodies -- probably already inexorably etched in your brain -- with suggested lyrics for Muslim listeners:
2. Jingle Bells
Originally composed for an 1857 Boston Thanksgiving service.
Allah Hu, Allah Hu, Allah Hu Allah
Allah Hu, Allah Hu, Allah Hu Allah
8. Rocking around the Christmas tree
A popular American melody that hit the top of the charts in Christmas 1958 when released by Brenda Lee, who was fourteen years old at the time. We should be mindful of the creeping consumerism around Muslim holidays too:
Flashing a credit card with glee
Have a happy holiday
Everyone's spending merrily
In a new old fashioned way
9. Deck the Halls
Originally a Welsh melody for "Nos Galan", a winter carol that Mozart used in the 18th century for a violin and piano duet.
Nabi Yun Nabi, Nabi Nabi
Nabi Yun Nabi, Nabi Nabi
Nabi Yun Nabi, Nabi Nabi
Fa la la la la La la la la is also easily morphed into:Allah Hu Allah, Allah Allah

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