Sunday, November 20, 2005

God save the queen!

This is probably old, but I haven't seen it before. Still cute.

To the citizens of the United States of America

In light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen ElizabethII will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, andterritories (excepting Kansas, which she does not fancy).

Your new prime minister, Tony Blair, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rulesare introduced with immediate effect: (You should look up "revocation" inthe Oxford English Dictionary.)

1. Then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix ize will be replaced by the suffix ise.

Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up vocabulary).
There is a string of items ending with Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; strawberries in season.

Check the first comment which has a reply from the president declining the offer and informing Her Majesty that the US is undertaking a leveraged buyout of the United Kingdom.
Funny stuff.

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