Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Wrong number

Found this gem drilling into a comment thread while putting together that last post. I'm grabbing the whole thing for my scrapbook. Don't want to take a chance on losing the link. This one's a keeper.

I don't play well with rude people and I play less well on a Sunday morning. Don't call at 9:00am Sunday morning and greet someone with "WHO'S THIS?" You know what you get back? A snotty non-answer.

caller: WHO'S THIS?
me: The owner of the phone
caller: I'm not kidding.
me: Me neither
caller: Is Dana there?
me: WHO'S Dana?
caller: What number did I call?
me: Are you kidding me?
caller: ...no?
me: You aren't sure if your kidding me?
caller: ...um....
me: If you didn't start off so rude and demanding, I would've said wrong number really politely in the beginning.
caller: I'm really sorry. I'm having a bad day.
me: I forgive you. Can I give you some advice?
caller: sure
me: When you try this call again, say hello and then ask for Dana.
caller: What if it's you again?
me: Dana still won't be here.
caller: What is your number?
me: Why, do you want a date?
caller: No, I don't want to disturb you again.
me: Dude, I'm always disturbed.
caller: Can I tell you the number I was trying to call?
me: Bingo! You are catching on pretty quick there young man.
caller: The number is [***-****, yeah like I'd really print that]
me: Bad news, dude.
caller: WHY?
me: That's my number. Dana doesn't live here.
caller: [long pause]
me: You there dude?
caller: Yeah... I hate women.
me: Me too.

caller: Aren't you a woman?
me: Yep.
caller: Why do you hate women?
me: I don't hate them all. Just the catty bitches that pass bad phone numbers out at bars.
caller: Yeah. I guess I should go.
me: OK.
caller: Thanks for being so nice.
me: Dude, this has been a ten minute wrong number call. You think I was being nice I'm a sadistic bitch.

caller: Maybe but I was rude to you, so I deserved it.
me: Very true. Hmmmm, you sound like you'd make a very good minion.
caller: A what?
me: Nevermind.
caller: Thanks again.
me: No problem, dude. Have a good one.
caller: Goodbye

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